Born October 18, 2010 to
Abby Fifer Mandell and Avram Mandell
Los Angeles, CA
Remarks from Brit Bat
October 25, 2010
Shai Brooklyn Mandell,
you are named after two strong, spirited, loving people -- your grandmother,
Sara Rebecca Kabakow Mandell
and your great-grandfather, William Victor Trachtenberg, “Grandpa Vic.”
Avram (video)
While my mom was battling lymphoma, we often hung out in the living room of our house in Baltimore. I remember holding her hands at one time and saying to her, I’m going to name my daughter after you. She said to me that would be nice. Here we are today, a little more than 4500 days later and I am keeping my promise. Your name Shai (rhymes with “eye”) begins with the same letter as my mom Sara, your grandma. She would love to physically be with you today but she is unable to and trust me, if there was a way she’d find it. She loved children. She taught special education in the Bronx and she was an advocate for children in City of Baltimore. You can also better believe she was an advocate for her kids and you can rest assured that I will be an advocate for you, our little Shai. Grandma Sara was strong, assertive, funny, energetic, creative, persistent, and believed in her children. My mom always was there for us, including saving my life on several occasions. Shai, I will do everything I can to always be there for you when you need me. Your grandma made everything a game for us growing up and always allowed us to explore our curiosities. I distinctly remember her letting me pull the string on a public bus to ring the bell because I was curious as to what it did. I remember her taking me to a golf course because I wanted to know what the inside of a golf hole looked like. It’s not that impressive, but I’ll show you one day if you ever want to know. I actually promise to show you anything you want to see and teach you anything you want to know.
Shai in Hebrew means gift. You are a gift to your mom and me. We are so amazed by you and all the gifts you have brought and will bring to our lives. We will teach you to be generous and kind. We will share with you that you must live up to your name and be a gift to the world. You are loved by your extended family and you will have many cousins; be a gift to them too. Learn from the wisdom of your Grandpa Wallace, your Bubbe Pat and your Grandpa Gary and your Grandma Hope. They have much to share and much kindness to impart.
I know that your mom and I will teach you to love life and have fun while
living it. You will be a strong woman like the women in your family and like my
mom. You will be clever and a problem solver. You will make friends everywhere
you go and you will give and give to help others feel great about themselves. Thank you my little Shai
for coming into our lives. I bless you with a life full of mitzvot
(of course ones that you choose), a life full of service to the Jewish people
and the world and a life of happiness and contentment.
Abby
Your middle name, Brooklyn, is Grandpa Vic’s hometown. Many of your aunts and uncles, and I were all born in New York. Brooklyn is the home of your great-grandfather’s beloved Dodgers. As soon as you are old enough to handle crowds, your dad and I will take you to a Dodgers game out here. It won’t be the same as Ebbets Field, but we’ll do our best.
Grandpa Vic loved New York and loved sharing his city with me. He took me to Guys and Dolls and Most Happy Fella on Broadway and, for years, sent me dozens and dozens of playbills so I could be included in the shows he went to. He brought me to his favorite steak restaurants and knew not just the names, but the history and home life of every busboy and waiter.
Like you, Grandpa Vic had a full head of hair throughout his entire life. He was so proud of his four grandkids and doted on us, especially me, his only granddaughter. He knew that purple is my favorite color and that I love writing, and sent me purple stationary, purple pens, anything in purple. You are wearing purple today in his honor.
Like your Uncle Jordan, Grandpa Vic was in the newspaper business. He read everything he could get his hands on. Even when he was nearly blind, he still had the Sunday New York Times delivered and found a way to absorb its contents. He knew every author, and was a veracious reader.
It is fitting that your father and I went to see an action movie to distract us when I was in labor. Like your uncle, Craig, Grandpa Vic loved going to the movies and went regularly, often several times a week. “Did ya see it?” he would ask, and we would have to guess which “it,” which movie, he meant. “It’s a good picture.” Or, often, “Terrible picture! Don’t waste your time.” I think of him whenever a new movie comes out… “would Grandpa like this one?” Last week, while you were getting ready to come into this world, your father and I saw Red. Grandpa Vic would have really liked that picture.
Like your uncle, David, Grandpa Vic was always up on current events and politics and had an opinion about all of those things. He had an uncanny ability to spot trends. “Have you tried this stuff? Snapple?” he once asked me. “It’s made from the best stuff on earth!” Incidentally, he was also the first person to tell me about a book he’d heard about involving a boy wizard in London. He thought kids would really like the story.
Grandpa Vic enjoyed the finer things in life. He ordered chardonnay wherever he went and loved Gorgonzola cheese. When he moved to Roanoke, VA, at the end of his life, he would ask for a glass of white wine with every meal, even at Hardee’s (the east coast equivalent of Carl’s Jr.). I bless you that you are able to find joy in the mundane and see the possibility in every situation, like he did.
Grandpa Vic remembered everyone he ever met and was able to find common ground with everyone. If someone was from Omaha, he would reference the name of their hometown newspaper and comment on a recent editorial. “Wisconsin?” he would ask, “Did you see the game today?” He had a personal connection with the staff of his favorite diner, bus drivers, the nurses at his retirement facility. He remembered every one of my friends and would ask about them regularly when we spoke on the phone. He loved Avram -- who, for unknown reasons he called “Severn,” -- and was so happy to know that we got engaged.
We are bringing you into an extraordinary community in Los Angeles, full of so many people, here today, who love your mommy and daddy and love you. Our families’ roots are on the east coast, and I pray that you will always know how much you are loved by your cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents across the country. Wherever we live, you will always have a home in New York, where your Grandpa Wallace, Grandma Sara, Grandpa Gary, and Grandma Hope all grew up and started families.
Shai Brooklyn, may you, like your great-grandpa Vic, be friendly and cheerful to everyone you meet, may you never be hungry and always leave full, and may you, one day, delight in your own grandchildren and great-grandchildren.